there is no place i rather be

Monday, July 16, 2007

Happy 1st Anniversary, honey (:

<3

//

Precious-
it feels weird if I don't say anything special to you on this special day
but you've been so busy
I understand if you are unable to reply to this.

Maybe you've known
that I've been struggling to move on from the past.
Those moments being with myself I think about what used to be.
Time & time again I'd revisit the places we've been
reality never hit me so hard before.

"I remember the days we spent together were not enough
and it used to feel like dreaming except we always woke up"

Everywhere I went there was bound to be a You&Me
it was just so hard to find a place where no memories of us existed
I saw flashes of you waiting
snapshots of us walking
the story of us being together.

There and then I wished so hard we could do it all over
but things don't come easy,
do they?

The end of the past meant a new beginning
we've changed.
I was hurt by how distance drove us apart but then again
I gotta be strong.

No matter what though
you will always be you.

I know you didn't want things to change honey
but it did.
I know I might not be as beautiful as the so many other girls
I know perhaps you aren't sure if you've lost your feelings for me.

"My weakness is that I care too much"

I haven't given up on you simply cos I love you.
This marks one year.

"Anytime you feel like you just can't hold on
just hold on to my love
and I'll help you be strong

"In my life I've learnt that Heaven never waits
let's take this now before it's gone like yesterday
cos when I'm with you there's nowhere else that I would ever wanna be
I'm breathing for the next second I can feel you loving me"

If we ever have to be apart in this lifetime
I will find my way back to you
someday
somehow
somewhere.

//

If forever don't exist
we gotta make the best out of every moment together

//

Because you're the star
I fell in love with

<3

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Do You Remember
All of These Moments
All of Those Times

You Held Me
I Wish You Would Never Let Go

We'd Always Sit There Side by Side
but
Time Always Passed Us By

You Kissed Me
I Wish You Would Never Stop

I Miss Everything We Left Behind
But No it All Doesn't Hurt

From the Rising Eyes of a Sun
to Hot Blazing Afternoons
and Only-Star-In-the-Sky Nights

Promises &
Vows
We Swore

Love
is The Word

Do You Remember
Cos I Do I Do
Do You Ever Think of Going Back Going Back
Cos I Do I Do

<3>

Hold Onto Me
Never Let Me Go.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Sorry honey, I'm in a rush but just know that....

... I will always love you all the days of my life, forever and ever babe <3

<3333333333333

Dear sweet knight whom-still-feels-like-a-wreck,

Sweetheart, I know you probably won't feel very good on your trip to Malaysia but just know I need you to leave your troubles behind. Escape reality for a few days. When you return to face them again you'll have renewed strength and I promise to take you through it. Step by step.

I have a feeling the greatest thing thats bothering you is the issue of us drifting apart. To admit, I know we will in the years to come. And as I said, its easiest to let go, hard to hold on but even harder to forget. I don't want to forget every sweet memory you left imprinted in my heart like a love film. Most of all I don't want to forget you.

What I want to say is that time and distance are sure to force us apart and sometimes we are left with no choice but to let them come in our way. And I am so glad to know that you don't want us to drift apart. Really glad.

I love you too much to let anything happen to us. Just know that if time and distance gets in our way, the connection between our hearts will always be strong. I know sometimes you'll feel like you've lost those feelings, but they will rush back to you when we meet. I promise you that. It happens.

I need you to take a deep, deep breath and put all your faith into me because I will carry the strength for you. I need you to trust in yourself, in us rather, that we will make it through all the long, enduring hours of not seeing each other. Time flies, we all know it. And when we're together, we're gonna spend all the time we have left in the world with each other.

Remember yesterday at the TCC? As I sat studying you when you said I deserved better, I asked myself one question. "Would I have the courage, the strength, to stand up and walk out this place, turn my back and walk away from you?"

No. I couldn't. And even if you forced me to, I wouldn't. And those thoughts, those prospects of my days without you in my life came back to me. It seemed dull, meaningless even. I would ask myself, "What am I living today for?"

We both know we mean the whole world to each other, and everytime I tell you I'd love to spend my time with you but I couldn't because of unforseen activities, you'd always tell me, "I'm yours forever." And that always comforts me.

I need to tell you again. I love you. And I need to tell you again that I've never loved someone so bravely. Ever.

Womby wants me to tell you that she never wants us to see us apart. And I know Prince Habibu doesn't want that too.

Do try to cheer up honey, its hard to see you down. Give it some time, things will be better. Trust me, okay?

Take good care of yourself on this trip and just message or call me anytime you need to hear me. I'll be replying via the Internet SMS.

I'm missing you already as I type this out, but like the last time I'll be counting down the days for you. Oh, and dinner on Wednesday night with you would be nice.

For you, I'm willing to do so many things. And for me, I know you will be more than willing too.

Even if I'm not by your side sweetheart, I'll always live in your heart. Hold on tight to me and the sweet memories, and I promise you, I'll never be that far.

I love you dear. Truckloads and loads.

Lots of hugs and kisses,
Your sweet-loving Princess whom-misses-you-holding-her

<33333

Sunday, November 26, 2006

To my sweet loving princess,

Honestly speaking, I'm still worried about you when I leave for my holiday. Seven days might be a short period of time but I know its long and I wish I don't need to go for such a long period. I don't need you to cry yourself to sleep because I will be back to do the many things we plan to do after Os.

Remember what I said last night, that we will go through everything together and I am going through this with you as well and we will become stronger after this period of time because I see all this as a test for us and I know we will always come out stronger because we were meant for each other and I know my true love is my one and only you.

True enough this seven nights might not be as peaceful and as sweet when I'm spending the night with you and I can’t wait to get back to spend every night with you till forever.

I will really miss you sweetheart but I need you to cheer up too because your smile is the only thing that keeps me going and that sweet smile of yours will always stay inside my mind so stay happy k?

I might not be able to accompany even when strong lightning and frightening thunders occur but just know that I will always be around with you no matter where I am and I'll fight those fears away for you.

Lastly, I want you to stay strong and always hang in there for us because I will be back to spend my entire lifetime with you. This I promise you.

Before I go, all I have to say is...

I will always love you sweetheart...

Forever and ever baby... <3

<3 Your sweetest, hottest & cutest knight

P.S: I'll miss kissing the sweetest lips I have ever kissed and I'll miss tensing you up =X

To forever <3

Friday, November 10, 2006

This is for you.

As I sit here I recall the last few words which mattered and meant so much to me.

True, actions speak louder than words. But what you say, I'll always remember.

Its amazing how you manage to keep my anger from boiling. Your soothing voice seems to take it all away. You said things would change now that you're here. And you're right.

The way you shield me from all my nightmares and worst fears made me wish I could shield you from yours too. Like if someone were about to stab you in the heart, I would take the pain for you.

Because thats how much I'm more willing to lay down and sacrifice my life just for you.

Those times I missed you so bad till it almost hurt I would take Clover in my arms like how you would take me in yours and hold me close. And I'll hold Clover close and always remember the way you'd tell me you'd never hurt, the way you'd tell me you'll never let me go.

The times we spent together aren'ts just happy times. They're happy and sweet memories of me and you, a movie locked in a romance, a play of two people madly in love. Unforgettable and unerasable, they'll always playback in my head whenever I need to feel your presence beside me.

I'll always remember our very first times.

The first time you held my hand was courage.

The first time you hugged me was faith.

The first time you kissed me was love.

Our first date, our first movie. Our first dinner, our first fireworks.

Everytime you feel down, I get scared. Cuz as I said, I'm afraid I'll fail to make you smile again. I'm just afraid of losing you if I fail. But everytime I manage to make you smile, I feel so amazing. I feel like I've accomplished the greatest miracle. And my very own miracle, is definitely you.

I'd always notice our entwined shadows when we're close together. Our joined hands. Everytime I do, I still see how perfect they are together. We are made for each other in this lifetime, and the many more lifetimes to come.

And I still want to say, I've never loved someone so bravely as I loved you. Storms and long distances may pull us apart but our hearts will always be closely connected.

You're the first person I've loved that bravely. Because all the things that I do and I'm going to do for you, I wouldn't do it for anybody else.

You mean more than the whole world to me and the thought of giving you up to some other girl who might not love you like I do scares me. Cuz I know I can love you better than anybody else.

You, my sweet knight, are my assurance, my comfort, my warm rays of sunshine, my harbour of hope, my rainbow, my protector, my faith, my strength, my love.

This is how much I love you. I wish I could show you how much. I wish I could fly to the Moon, take down the stars and give them all to you.

When I'm with you, we'll take our love as our only flight. And we'll fly, to wherever love might take us, just as long as we're together forever.

I love you dear.

=)

Monday, October 23, 2006

Dear sweet knight who-is-occasionally-destructive-and-misses-his-steps,

I could see things weren't right during recess already. After school when I called, you didn't sound right. Like you were battered and broken into bits. We were silent all the way. The tense atmosphere that hung was a lil too heavy to take.

I knew we had to leave. You looked as if you needed someplace quiet. I was thinking probably you would talk to me about it. But the whole time when you were at our private place, you said nothing.

Surprisingly you allowed me as I rested on your shoulder as your hand reached out for mine. I thought you wouldn't. Almost thought you wouldn't.

Your eyes, whenever I looked at them, were indecipherable. They were clouded up and hazy. Beneath the haze, I could never figure out the words.

Then finally I found ourselves at my doorstep. Your hand in mine, waiting for the other to let go. I couldn't. There must be something else to say. In my head I told myself, "Just let go. He'll be fine."

Though I didn't want to, I forced my fingers loose and dropped my hand to my side. When I looked up at you, I saw hurt. Deep deep sadness. A sorrow that made me want to make everything alright in one instant.

You felt that you hurt me the most.

Its absurd. Totally absurd. As I write this I'm shaking my head in disbelief.

I asked for the greatest miracle. I was looking for love. But not expecting one to come my way.

You gave me everything an ordinary girl would wish for. The simplest of things, yes. And the expensive gifts that you've showered me with were definitely unexpected.

I prayed for days where I could wake up to look forward to seeing something I could wake up to embrace, to welcome, to appreciate and adore, something, someone tangible I could always hang onto, someone I could give my whole heart to and never be afraid of it being broken.

And you were that.

And you said so many things. I just had to hang onto you and never let you go. Don't let me go either.

So many times we've been through this talk, and everytime we do, I'll make sure you hear words that are straight from my heart.

Cuz I really really really need you to see that you're the one for me.

Read back on the first yellow letter I gave. No one does those things for me.

And no guy, except you, would fold a paper heart and give it to me. I was surprised. I was sweetly surprised.

No guy, except you, can make me smile the way you do.

Sunshine will pour on me when you smile again.

I love you. <3

Lots of hugs and kisses,
Your sweet Princess who-cracks-her-brain-cells-to-convince-you-but-loves-you-all-the-more-anyway.

Friday, October 20, 2006

To my dear sweet princess who made this blog for me,

This is for you.

Something happened yesterday. After saying my goodnights to you sweet princess, I carried on working on my masterpiece proposal. As I sipped down the chilling coffee that remove the fatigue in me, I felt a sharp pain in my heart. It felt like something or someone had pierced me and the pain was a little unbearable and I hurried to finish the proposal hoping the pain would go down. It went away after awhile and I wondered what caused this sharp pain.

I couldn’t understand why this sharp pain had hit me so bad until we quarreled this late afternoon. I stared hard at the floor and suddenly everything fits into place. I realized this pain was actually the fact that our hearts built such strong connections and that my heart was telling me how painful you felt to watch me force myself to finish up my assignment and I almost wanted to cry knowing that you would be hurt watching me struggle through this assignment.

And it hit me hard when I was staring at the floor that you were trying your best to accompany me till 4am where u “yelled” 1am when I said 11.30pm but I know for sure you would come up with reasons just to stay up with me till 4am or even just smile to convince me you are not tired though I know you are not just a lil bit.

I realized that it hurts you a lot to see me sleeping late nights, forcing and myself to exceed my own limit. Forcing my brain to work so hard during the tiring hours and I promised you I wouldn’t do it again as I can’t bear to hurt the only person I love the most sweetheart. I just can’t.

Seriously, nobody else would try her best to wait up for me during weekdays when her bedtime used to be 10pm. Nobody else will make sure I have my meals regularly. Nobody else would say NOOOO to me in that cute expression and yes you are the cutest princess to me sweetheart. Nobody else will write me sweet letters and make sure I melt =X Nobody else will quarrel with me over Christmas presents and other treats that I think you truly deserve.

Nobody else will show me the sweetest smile that never fails to brighten up the darkest moment of my life. Nobody else will allow me to hold her hand and announce to the whole world that I love her so much. Nobody else will allow me to kiss in a demanding manner and that I can never stop kissing your ever-sweet lips and every time we kissed, I just wish the whole world would stop turning for us. Nobody else will hold me in her arms and I will never stop securing my arms around you sweetheart.

Nobody else will know when I’m feeling a lil moodless. Nobody else will face every ups and downs with me. Nobody else will watch my diet really carefully making sure I have the right stuff and that I don’t fall sick. Nobody else will melt me other than you sweetheart. Nobody else will be the brightest star in my life, shining your brightest radiance to illuminate all the darkest areas of my life, bringing nothing but joy, happiness, warmth and love to your dearest knight.
Nobody else will do those many things and more except you dear princess.

And I really can’t bear to lose you. Not in this lifetime and the many lifetimes to come. I just can’t lose you sweetheart. My world feels so empty without you by my side and my only joy and happiness belongs to you.

And from the deepest bottom of my heart, I truly will always love you and only you sweetheart.

I love you <3

<3 Your dearest knight who occasionally looks like a baby panda